Review of “Pretty Woman: The Musical.” Attended touring production at Keller Auditorium in Portland, OR on June 4, 2022.

Adapting the 1990 classic film “Pretty Woman” to the stage is a high-risk, high-reward scenario.

There are so many devoted fans — people who’ve seen the movie 50 times and can quote every word — that you have a built-in audience who will shell out for tickets. But the flip side of that is that any adaption will be compared frame-for-frame with the movie and if it comes down to Julia Roberts v. You….. that’s not a case you’re likely to win.

I’m not among the film’s devoted fans. It came out before I was born and I’ve only watched it once during my mom’s annual Christmastime film festival, “I Can’t Believe You’ve Never Seen This Movie from the 80s or 90s, We’re Putting It On Right Now.” So I went into the touring production of the musical with few expectations.

I’ll start with what I liked about it, and then explain why I think that was actually the show’s biggest mistake.

The positive: It’s fun. It has bright sets and costumes, cotton-candy-flavored-slushie sweetness, big ensemble musical numbers about following your dreams and uncomplicated kisses cementing the love of two characters destined for each other. There’s a lot to be said for a fun musical, a reminder that theater can whisk us to another world for three hours and leave us smiling and humming.

The problem is that “Pretty Woman” shouldn’t have been that musical. Because yes, it’s technically a Disney movie with a happy ending, but the premise is darker and the stakes are higher. The emotional impact of the story comes from a Vivian starting off penniless in Hollywood opulence, trying to scavenge enough money to pay rent through sex work that is both physically and emotionally taxing. Her journey, which could have been explored through solo ballads as she grapples with this newfound wealth and status at the expense of her values, is instead glossed over with a Cinderella treatment that immediately discards all the problems she faced, with no effort or contemplation on her part. We don’t see Vivian’s inner dialogue during this lifestyle whiplash.

It’s also a pet peeve of mine when the protagonist (and this often ends up being a female protagonist) is essentially carried along through the plot by the actions of others. This musical doesn’t give Vivian enough agency to make her feel like the hero. (As if they realized this at the eleventh hour of the writer’s room, they tacked in the line from the movie, “She rescues him right back,” even though Vivian didn’t do anything except wait for Edward to discover the concept of empathy.)

If the musical followed Vivian’s story from her point of view, looking inward and giving her room to grapple with real problems and real emotions, it wouldn’t be PG-rated. It would probably have to cut out some of the ensemble numbers that had the energy of a high school pep rally. Some patrons might be upset that it steered away from the movie. But it would have been more engaging and overall fulfilling when it reached the happy ending.

Here’s where I caveat that my complaints are with the book and music, not with this particular production. The touring cast was talented, fun to watch, and executed the source material as well as I think anyone could have. I look forward to seeing these actors again in other shows where they can dig beyond the surface and demonstrate their full abilities. This just wasn’t it.