“oh, you like Elsa and Moana because they’re ‘don’t-need-a-man’ empowerment stories.”

when someone said that to me i bristled, and i said no, but i didn’t have the words to express what i was feeling, why i felt that missed the mark completely. here are those words.

it’s true those are two of the only disney princess stories not centered around romance, but that doesn’t mean they’re about ‘not needing a man.’ the absence of a romantic counterpart doesn’t mean the story is a commentary about the lack of a romantic counterpart, just as many (most) stories don’t include godzilla but the point isn’t that they’re a commentary on the lack of godzilla. 

it’s a mark of our hyper-romantic media environment – specifically the stories we write about and aimed at women – that the lack of a romantic counterpart is even something to note. how many stories told by and about men don’t feature romance? men fight monsters and save the city and rocket into space and discover their strength as part of a team, and we don’t walk out of the theater going, ‘wow, what a don’t-need-a-woman empowerment story.’ we don’t even think about it.

so i bristle at the idea that women’s stories have to be sorted into two camps, ‘falling in love’ or ‘discovering she doesn’t need a man.’ there are so many stories, a large portion of them untold, about women that have nothing to do with the presence or lack of men. and that doesn’t mean anything against men or romance. it’s just saying we can go beyond that.

besides, Elsa and Moana both are technically aided if not outright rescued by men. Kristoff and Maui play pivotal roles in the plot and teach them valuable lessons. the only distinction is that they’re not romantic counterparts for those two heroines, so they “count less” in their stories.  

so in a way, i do love Elsa and Moana because it’s refreshing to see a story centered around personal growth in the absence of romance, but it’s not because the stories are about them not needing a man. there could be a story where that’s the theme, and that’s totally valid. but Elsa’s theme was to show her emotions and embrace how the things that made her different (her powers) were actually a strength. Moana’s theme was trusting her inner strength and protecting the natural world. 

so, sue me.

no, don’t sue me. that’s the opposite of the point i was trying to make.